Tan Frío. No Me Gusta El Frío.

Stupid April. As you can see below it’s been too cold for baseball.

Sox manager, Rick Sweet, out for a stroll at Security Service Field at Mile High.

Good news is it’s suppose to get warmer sometime before next winter.

Get A Haircut Hippies

Eric Cartman: Hello, ma’am. I’m working to clean up the city from parasites. Do you mind if I take a quick look around your baseball stadium? I’m afraid you may have hippies.

Elderly Woman: Hippies?

Eric Cartman: Yeah, they’ve been poppin’ up all over town lately. The boys next door had hundreds of hippies in their soccer stadium; they usually live in colonies. Hm, I don’t like the sound of that. Could I take a look at your ball field?

Sox lose, Sox style, 12-8 to the Sounds
Eric Cartman: [to these hippies] Here, here’s some joints and a guitar.
Sox lose, Sox style, 12-8 to the Sounds
Eric Cartman: See that. hippies. These are what we call the ,uh, giggling stoners. Pretty common form of hippies, usually found in stadiums and arenas.
Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Eric Cartman: In my professional opinion, we’re looking at a full-blown hippie jamfest the size of which we’ve never seen.
Sox lose, Sox style, 12-8 to the Sounds
Eric Cartman: Damn hippies!

Their hippies beat our hippies 12-8. Sox fall to 1-1 on the young season.


Battle of the Wolf-People

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
It was Opening Day, so America was there!

Our New Sox, your BrewSox, won their opener 7-5 over the Nashville Sounds yesterday in the torquing east wind swept, frozen confines of Security Service Field at Mile High. 1-0! Yeah team!

Here’s kind of what happened:

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Taylor Jungmann pitched 4.0 innings looking like this.
Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Matt Clark hit a high pop up behind 2nd base that went over the fence for a homer. Yes, that’s a homerun swing.

AND! And there was a battle of Wolf-People!

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Nashville’s catcher, and Wolf-Person, Bryan Anderson ready to do Wolf-Person stuff at the ballyard.
Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
One of the Sky Sox Wolf-People, Chris Perez, gives up a double to his Wolf-Brother Bryan Anderson in the 8th.

It got hairy in the 8th & 9th as the Sounds clawed back 3 runs to make it close, but the New Sox hung on for the win.

Tonight at 635pm it’s John Ely vs Barry Zito (who was great on the Chris Isaak Show, SE3EP3, in 2004. Watch it! Oh, YOU CAN’T BECAUSE SOME BASTARDS WON’T ALLOW IT OUT ON DVD, OR NETFLIX, OR ANYTHING! OH, HOW I HATE THEM BASTARDS!). Sorry. I really liked that show. To make it up to you here’s a picture of a little man on a baseball, or a normal man on a giant baseball. Enjoy!

Sitting on it like he own the whole, wide world!



Headshot Madness

Today is Opening Day of the 2015 Pacific Coast League season for the new look Colorado Springs Sky Sox!  The Rockies prospects are gone, replaced by some future Brewers we hope can help make us forget 2014’s 54-90 clinic in indifference and terrible baseball. Go Sky Sox! Go Brewers! Yeah baseball!

So, a new season means we got to take new headshots yesterday. Below, for comparison, are a few classic shots along with my favorites from this season. Check ’em out and let us know what you think:

Lebron James. His Jordan moment came with the Sky Sox.
Manny (Corpus) being Manny (Corpus).
OMG! I’m so flippin’ excited! I’m Christian Friedrich!
Duuuuuuuude! Charlie Blackmon (pre-epic beard).

And the Gold Standard of Sox headshots:

Edgar Gonzalez
Edgar Gonzalez! El Glaciar! El numero uno!

Now here are this year’s contenders:

Chris Perez’s “facing the wrong way” take on the headshot.
John Ely trying to out Friedrich Friedrich or out Edgar Edgar.
“Breathe In” with Nevin Ashley.
“I’m So Uncomfortable” with Pete Orr
Taylor Jungmann, “No. That’s so legal here. I’m cool” headshot.
“Don’t Forget to Smile” from Jason Rogers
“Near…far…wherever you are…my heart…” croons Bryan Petersen

Those are your 2015 Colorado Springs Sky Sox. Let’s make a contest out of this, Tweet your favorite to @PengoSports with the hashtag #HeadshotMadness. We’ll announce a winner by the end of the opening homestand and there will be much rejoicing and we’ll name an award after the winner. Yeah.

Yup. There’s A Potato Bowl

Potato Man sez, “WATCH MY BOWL DAMMIT!”

Air Force v Western Michigan play today in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl at 345pm on ESPN Proper. Give it a gander.

And now, some pictures of potatoes, and/or Idaho, to get you in the mood:

Greetings from Old Man Potato!
A big potato on a flatcar.
Damn. There sure are some weird “potato” themed postcards out there.
Kind of like the one above but with some Idaho related text added.
Doesn’t Idaho have anything else to be proud of besides potatoes?
The postcard creators just mailed this one in (no pun intended).

And now, a B-1 flying over Falcon Stadium and into the clouds (better than potatoes any day if you ask me).

Air Force tops Nevada 45-38 in a very cold, overtime thriller.
It’s probably filled with potatoes.

Anyways, enjoy the game. It might just feel like you’re there if you eat a potato while watching it. Bon appétit!

102nd Grey Cup!

The Grey Cup. Greatest trophy in all of sports.

Calgary Stampeders battle the Hamliton Tiger-Cats for the 102nd Grey Cup TODAY at 4PM MDT on ESPN2!  Ticats v Stamps dammit! Grey Cup dammit!

Look at them Ticats go!

And! The national anthem (Canadian) will be performed by “Canadian jazz-pop sensation” Nikki Yanofsk! then “Imagine Dragons will rock the half-time show of the 102nd Grey Cup this November 30th at B.C. Place in Vancouver.”*

Is Jazz for the bears the same as Canadian jazz-pop?

This will give everyone something to do until 630pm when the Broncos/Chiefs starts on NBC proper. Truth be told, if the Grey Cup is a close at that point I’m riding that horse to the finish. Yee Haw!

Now here’s a picture frame I found on the interwebs today. Enjoy the games!

Bee Syrup frame based on the art from Chris (Simpsons artist).

*Quotes are from CFL.ca. I don’t know who the hell Nikki Yanofsk is. I don’t even know what it takes to be a “Canadian jazz-pop sensation”, but I will take the word of the Canadian Football League that Nikki Yanofsk is one.

The Misadventures of NM Lobos

Damn fine television if you ask me. This was TV’s Golden Age.

The final episode of The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo aired on May 5, 1981. On October 18, 2014 Air Force beat the New Mexico Lobos 35-31. What’s the connection, besides the Lobo thing? Hell if I know, but I do know that a B.J. and the Bear spinoff is only a couple of degrees of separation away from connecting something to anything, like Sheriff Lobo and an Air Force football game. So there.

Air Force holds off New Mexico 35-31
Air Force quarterback, Kale Pearson, airs one out to wide receiver Jalen Robinette
in the 3rd quarter of the Falcons 35-31 victory over New Mexico.
Air Force holds off New Mexico 35-31
Jalen Robinette hauls in said pass from Pearson against the Lobos.
Air Force holds off New Mexico 35-31
Don’t worry. He scores. Dude has some talent.

Their next home game is against Nevada on November 12th at Noon. Tickets are cheap. The setting is beautiful. And the team isn’t half bad this year. Come out and support your Air Force Falcons.

Now here’s a pyramid of Gatorade stuffs the Lobos’ staff constructed.

Air Force holds off New Mexico 35-31
Behold! Fort Gatorade!

Cousins, Identical Cousins!

Meet Brock, who’s lived most everywhere,
From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.
But Joc’s only seen the sights
A boy can see from Brooklyn Heights — What a crazy pair!

Hey! It’s Joc (yes. It’s spelled Joc, as in Jock or Jacques) Pederson…

But they’re cousins,
Identical cousins all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as night and day.

…or is it Brock Peterson?

Where Brock adores a minuet,
The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette,
Our Joc loves to rock and roll,
A hot dog makes him lose control — What a wild duet!

Brock and Joc in their younger days.

Still, they’re cousins,
Identical cousins and you’ll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike —
You can lose your mind,
When cousins are two of a kind.


A Salute to Binary Code!

Earlier this season, June 15th to exact, the Sky Sox and Salt Lake Bees held their Salute to Binary Code Night:

“I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords” read the message on the
Security Service Field at Mile High scoreboard.

Alas, no “insect overlords” showed up to be “welcomed” and the crowd went home disappointed. They were able to see the Inanimate Carbon Rod, so that perked them up a tad before leaving.

“…they were about to show a close-up of the Rod!”

Rudi Stein Player(s) of the Game

“This hurts. I don’t like it.”
Rudi Stein

Saturday’s Rudi Stein Player of the Game Award goes to Tim Wheeler and Dustin Garneau:

Tim Wheeler prepares to be hit by a pitch from John Lamb of the Omaha Storm Chasers.
Dustin Garneau winces as John Lamb’s pitch rebounds off his back.

Congrats boys! Back to back in the backs hit by pitches! Exciting, and painful!

We’ve Got a Lot of Losses…

Rockies manager Walt Weiss held a closed door team meeting before last night’s game against the Diamondbacks. He emphasized to the team that it wasn’t their effort that was the problem, but a lack of execution. Here’s our guess for how it went (NSFW language):

The pep-talk seemed to work with the team for 2.5 innings. They jumped out to a 3-1 lead, but crapped the bed after that. De La Rosa gave up a 3 run bomb to Mark Trumbo in the bottom of the 3rd, the bullpen, Kahnle and Masset gave up 10 runs in 2 innings of work, including a 9 run 8th to put the game away. So much for inspirational speeches.

Reno 911 – COS

Because he’s the hero Colorado Springs deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. He’s Ben Paulsen.

1st base is safe from evildoers. Officer Paulsen is on the job.
Truth, justice and the Paulsen Way!

Lose the beard, sport the ‘stache and this crap writes itself. Thanks Ben!


If Denver wins Seattle keeps the only trophy that counts, but the fan base has another lame thing to hang their collective hats on.

Revenge game! Broncos host the Seahawks tonight at Mile High hoping to redeem themselves for that 43-8 thumping in Super Bowl 48 (not really. It’s just a shitty preseason game that injects more cash into the owner’s pockets while not having to pay the players. Manning plays a series. Are the tickets priced accordingly? Nope. Full-price suckers! It’s like watching the future of the Arena League on a full-sized field!).

Anyhoo…Game is on KKTV 11 starting at 700pm. Ron Zappolo and John Lynch have the call. Here’s something that’s more entertaining that tonight will be:

Rain Delay

Tonight’s Sky Sox game was rained out. But, before it’s rained out there is a rain delay. And during a rain delay stuff happens. Like this:

Two dudes ran onto the field and slid on the tarp. One of them lost his shoes. Now both of them have to hang out with the police for a while.
These two Skeletors wandered about in the rain.
Yup. Them’s Skeletors alright.
Then they chilled on a rail because, you know, it was wet out.
Then they had to leave. Goodnight Skeletors.

There was also a karaoke contest and a lot more rain. The karaoke contest is what finally chased me out of there. Sounded like cats being boiled. Lots and lots of cats.