The Lizard People Are Among Us

All hail our Reptilian overlords!

 

One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them. The reptiles will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome the Annunaki to our humble stadium. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted sports photographer, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground lizard caves.

Dead Frog

Dead frog! Just a picture of a dead frog I found by Prospect Lake while shooting the balloon fest –

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And here’s a flaccid balloon from said fest –

Labor Day Lift Off media day

Enjoy.

Sweatpants Santa

Look Kids! It’s Santa Claus!

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

Oh! That jolly old elf was hanging out at the Sky Sox spreading some Christmas cheer in September!

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

Wait a minute! What the hell is Santa wearing?! Are those AND1 brand sweatpants?

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

Yup. Dumpy-assed AND1 sweatpants. Dammit Santa! You ain’t even trying anymore!

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

And that’s not even a Santa coat. That’s just a sweat shirt. My world is crumbling down around me.

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

Buddy the Elf was right, you truly do sit on a throne of lies Santa.

Dugout Parking Is For Kidnapper Vans Only

After failing to kidnap anyone the last time, creepy dugout ball guy was back on Saturday. This time he fancied-up the ball with a little hat:

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Betcha the next time he tries he’ll just tape a puppy to the damn ball. Remember kids, nothing is free in this cruel world (except candy from strangers. That’s usually free and comes with the bonus of a ride in a bitchin’ Scooby-Doo van!)

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Want Some Candy?

Want some candy? How about a baseball?

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Thanks creepy dugout ball guy. Now I’m off-put. Betcha you got a real nice kidnapper van in the parking lot.

Nothing’s Faster Than A Hotdog Man

Hey. Look. It’s a hotdog man…

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

… And he’s running…by Keon Broxton…

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

…and running, in front of the Sky Sox bullpen, now with a big, red ball. Good for the hotdog man. Seems to enjoy all the space. Nice to see him so happy running, and running, and running. Godspeed hotdog man. Godspeed.

The Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Hell, I don’t know. Did that damn singing frog mention gold and leprechauns? That would be a decent reason for a song about rainbows. Let’s just say he was singing about last night’s 7-1 Sky Sox victory over the Reno Aces, or more accurately, about the 1:31 rain delay in the top of the 4th inning that was just chock full of rainbows, and lightning, and talk of pots-o-gold & leprechauns, and stuff.

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Hey! Look! It’s the end of the rainbow!
And it’s landing right in the middle of Security Service Field at Mile High!
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The end of the rainbow means a pots-o-gold & leprechauns!
I think I see a leprechaun, but that doesn’t look like a pot-o-gold.
That looks like a big metal tube.
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Stupid metal tubes. They can’t hold a candle to an inanimate carbon rod.
And that’s no leprechaun! It’s Sox outfielder Michael Reed!
He only looks like a leprechaun because he has a red beard.

Michael Reed says, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya! And stay away from me Lucky Charms!”

 

Happy Father’s Day From Darth Vader

Whatcha doing Darth?

Oh nothing. You know, just scaring babies and stuff.

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Vader: No, I am your father.
Luke: No. No. That’s not true. That’s impossible!
Vader: Search your feelings; you know it to be true.
Luke: NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Cosmic Tumblers Have Clicked Into Place

“There comes a time when all the cosmic tumblers have clicked into place and the universe opens itself up a few seconds to show you what’s possible.” Terrance Mann, Field of Dreams

The cosmic tumblers click for me tonight – Bad posture? Check. Mouth-breathing? Check. Fondling a ball? Check. What we have here is perhaps the world’s most perfect picture. I rock!

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Hot damn! It’s Derek Zoolander!

And, and! I also got the headshot I’ve been chasing for over a month!

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It’s in through the mouth, out through the nose.
The mouth should only be one part of the equation.

If you build it, they will DERP.

Game of Thornburgs

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Winter is coming? Yeah, right. Winter never left.

The Sky Sox are back in town starting tonight as they take on the Sacramento River Cats. Tyler Thornburg on the hill for the Sox. Game time is 705pm.

Sky Sox vs Salt Lake Bees - July 3, 2010.  4th of July fireworks game.
POISON V WARRANT! TONIGHT ONLY!

After the game there will be a ’80’s Hair Metal Band Firework Extravaganza! Where members of Poison and Warrant will take the field and have a duel to the death armed only with Roman candles and bottle rockets. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Tan Frío. No Me Gusta El Frío.

Stupid April. As you can see below it’s been too cold for baseball.

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Sox manager, Rick Sweet, out for a stroll at Security Service Field at Mile High.

Good news is it’s suppose to get warmer sometime before next winter.