Sometimes That Grow Gator He Go Away… But Sometimes He Wouldn’t Go Away.

Sometimes that shark grow gator looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark grow gator is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.

When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.

The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks grow gators come in and… they rip you to pieces.

So, anyhow, that was pretty much what it was like during last night’s rain delay at Security Service Field at Mile High.

The New Scoreboard’s Here! The New Scoreboard’s Here!

Starting with tomorrow’s Sky Sox game against Round Rock at Security Service Field at Mile, it’s out with the old scoreboard (the football stuff was always so confusing):

 

And in with a fancy, new one:

 

Damn! That looks fast!

 

Between innings you are invited to join the dance party as the scoreboard transforms into an all-robot band and cranks out the hottest soft rock hits of the 80’s!

 

It’s also rumored that VIP Ape, sponsored by Banana City, may make an appearance to flip the switch to light up the new scoreboard!

Free ticket vouchers are available at ARC Thrift Stores! Bring the kids! It’s going to one hell of a Monday at the ball yard!

Oh Hail No!

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Our intrepid bunch of ballplayers battled back against an epic storm Thursday night and defeated Mother Nature (and the Iowa Cubs) 11-7. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, “the Sky Sox shall fight in Colorado, they shall fight on the ball fields and off, they shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength, they shall defend Security Service Field at Mile High, whatever the cost may be. They shall fight in the parking lot, they shall fight in the stands, they shall fight on the warning track, they shall fight in the dugout; they shall never surrender (because they’re too stupid to quit #TSTQ).” Here is Yadiel Rivera, Manny Pina, Brent Suter & Keon Broxton’s tale in pictures (with special guest appearances by Jorge Lopez and Tim Dillard):

But wait! Yadiel Rivera was not finished! Time to bat some hail straight to hell before being called up to the Brewers:

Our Sky Sox did what the Air Force’s E-4B Nightwatch couldn’t…

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…chase this damn storm away and allow everyone to go home at a reasonable hour.

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Nothing’s Faster Than A Hotdog Man

Hey. Look. It’s a hotdog man…

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

… And he’s running…by Keon Broxton…

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

…and running, in front of the Sky Sox bullpen, now with a big, red ball. Good for the hotdog man. Seems to enjoy all the space. Nice to see him so happy running, and running, and running. Godspeed hotdog man. Godspeed.

Stare Into My Eyes

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

BASEBALL TONIGHT! It’s Friday Night Fireworks presented by Heuberger Motors as our Sky Sox take on Nashville to close out the first homestand of the season!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

It’s also Guaranteed Nightmare Night (IF Sox closer Damien Magnifco pitches to close out the game)!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

Come for the baseball! Stay for the fireworks! And never sleep again as The Great Magnifico! Stares into you soul and removes the last of your hopes & dreams with his “Look-O Magnifico”!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

First pitch is at 635pm. Magnifico sightings are usually in the 9th. Fireworks to follow. PengoSports gives tonight “2 Eyeballs”!

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Plus! Classic Letterman!

This One’s For…Nick!

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Some guy named Columbo (spelled Coulombe) on the Nashville Sounds pitched against the Sky Sox in the Sounds’ 9-8 win on Thursday night (he faced the last 2 batters in the 7th, retiring both). From what I understand, Columbo did it while wearing his trademark raincoat while smoking a cigar. I don’t know about you but this sets a terrible example for the children that were present at Security Service Field at Mile High on $3 craft beer night and makes a mockery of the fine game of baseball. If it’s not the forever-long games; the foul, soul-sapping weather; or the packs of wild animals that constantly invade the field, we now have to deal with some jamoke that ditches the traditional pajama-esque baseball outfit to dress up as a fictional 1970’s TV detective. The shame.

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Anyhoo, to commemorate 4-20, here’s a picture of Orlando Arcia & Hernan Perez:

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

Home Opener!

The skies are darkening, the temperature is dropping & a Snowmageddon is predicted for the state, so that can mean only one thing…the Sky Sox home opener is here!

Quiz time! Will we have:

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Rain tonight? (probably)

A little sun, a little rain, a little snow and a lot of wind.

Snow tonight? (probably)  A game tonight? (maybe).

Sky Sox vs Iowa Cubs - May 12, 2011

Cold players bitchin’ ’bout the weather? (definitely).

Too cold for baseball

Massive crowds elbowing their way into Security Service Field at Mile High? (probably not).

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Buck it up campers! Put on your snowsuits and root on our Sky Sox tonight! If the winds stay calm there’s going to be fireworks tonight! And that’d be kinda awesome seeing fireworks in the snow.

And now, a picture of Manager Rick Sweet and a couple of AT-ATs attacking them damn rebels on that ice planet Hoth:

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The Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Hell, I don’t know. Did that damn singing frog mention gold and leprechauns? That would be a decent reason for a song about rainbows. Let’s just say he was singing about last night’s 7-1 Sky Sox victory over the Reno Aces, or more accurately, about the 1:31 rain delay in the top of the 4th inning that was just chock full of rainbows, and lightning, and talk of pots-o-gold & leprechauns, and stuff.

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Hey! Look! It’s the end of the rainbow!
And it’s landing right in the middle of Security Service Field at Mile High!
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The end of the rainbow means a pots-o-gold & leprechauns!
I think I see a leprechaun, but that doesn’t look like a pot-o-gold.
That looks like a big metal tube.
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Stupid metal tubes. They can’t hold a candle to an inanimate carbon rod.
And that’s no leprechaun! It’s Sox outfielder Michael Reed!
He only looks like a leprechaun because he has a red beard.

Michael Reed says, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya! And stay away from me Lucky Charms!”

 

Tan Frío. No Me Gusta El Frío.

Stupid April. As you can see below it’s been too cold for baseball.

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Sox manager, Rick Sweet, out for a stroll at Security Service Field at Mile High.

Good news is it’s suppose to get warmer sometime before next winter.