Sometimes That Grow Gator He Go Away… But Sometimes He Wouldn’t Go Away.

Sometimes that shark grow gator looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark grow gator is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.

When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.

The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks grow gators come in and… they rip you to pieces.

So, anyhow, that was pretty much what it was like during last night’s rain delay at Security Service Field at Mile High.

The #1 Prospect In All The Land

BEHOLD! It’s Corey Seager of the Oklahoma City Dodgers! The #1 prospect in all of minor league baseball! And he’s, um, hmm, doing “something” with his right hand while wearing a mitten on his left hand.

Sox head to all-star break with a walk off 6-5 win
Maybe he needs mittens on both hands to save his eyesight.
Cone of shame for dogs. Mitten of shame for ballplayers.

Sweet Jebus! Won’t someone please think of the children.

Battle of the Wolf-People

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
It was Opening Day, so America was there!

Our New Sox, your BrewSox, won their opener 7-5 over the Nashville Sounds yesterday in the torquing east wind swept, frozen confines of Security Service Field at Mile High. 1-0! Yeah team!

Here’s kind of what happened:

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Taylor Jungmann pitched 4.0 innings looking like this.

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Matt Clark hit a high pop up behind 2nd base that went over the fence for a homer. Yes, that’s a homerun swing.

AND! And there was a battle of Wolf-People!

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Nashville’s catcher, and Wolf-Person, Bryan Anderson ready to do Wolf-Person stuff at the ballyard.

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
One of the Sky Sox Wolf-People, Chris Perez, gives up a double to his Wolf-Brother Bryan Anderson in the 8th.

It got hairy in the 8th & 9th as the Sounds clawed back 3 runs to make it close, but the New Sox hung on for the win.

Tonight at 635pm it’s John Ely vs Barry Zito (who was great on the Chris Isaak Show, SE3EP3, in 2004. Watch it! Oh, YOU CAN’T BECAUSE SOME BASTARDS WON’T ALLOW IT OUT ON DVD, OR NETFLIX, OR ANYTHING! OH, HOW I HATE THEM BASTARDS!). Sorry. I really liked that show. To make it up to you here’s a picture of a little man on a baseball, or a normal man on a giant baseball. Enjoy!

manonbaseball
Sitting on it like he own the whole, wide world!