Nashville Sounds

KEN-NEE G! KEN-NEE G!

Color me shocked, but smooth jazz recording legend, Kenny G, seems to have changed careers and is now a relief pitcher for the Nashville Sounds.

Mr. G, or Kenny, as he allows me to call him, has pitched in the first 2 games of the 4 game series, tossing 2 innings, giving up 1 hit & 1 run.

Tonight has been declared KENNY G NIGHT! All game long, Kenny will entertain the crowd, from the bullpen, with some of his monster jazz hits like, Love Theme From Romeo & Juliet, the theme From Dying Young, and My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme From Titanic)!

So, come on out to Security Service Field at Mile High, watch the Sky Sox take on the Sounds, and chill to the musical magic of Kenny G.

KENNY!

Stare Into My Eyes

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

BASEBALL TONIGHT! It’s Friday Night Fireworks presented by Heuberger Motors as our Sky Sox take on Nashville to close out the first homestand of the season!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

It’s also Guaranteed Nightmare Night (IF Sox closer Damien Magnifco pitches to close out the game)!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

Come for the baseball! Stay for the fireworks! And never sleep again as The Great Magnifico! Stares into you soul and removes the last of your hopes & dreams with his “Look-O Magnifico”!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

First pitch is at 635pm. Magnifico sightings are usually in the 9th. Fireworks to follow. PengoSports gives tonight “2 Eyeballs”!

orange

Plus! Classic Letterman!

This One’s For…Nick!

columbo1

Some guy named Columbo (spelled Coulombe) on the Nashville Sounds pitched against the Sky Sox in the Sounds’ 9-8 win on Thursday night (he faced the last 2 batters in the 7th, retiring both). From what I understand, Columbo did it while wearing his trademark raincoat while smoking a cigar. I don’t know about you but this sets a terrible example for the children that were present at Security Service Field at Mile High on $3 craft beer night and makes a mockery of the fine game of baseball. If it’s not the forever-long games; the foul, soul-sapping weather; or the packs of wild animals that constantly invade the field, we now have to deal with some jamoke that ditches the traditional pajama-esque baseball outfit to dress up as a fictional 1970’s TV detective. The shame.

columbo

Anyhoo, to commemorate 4-20, here’s a picture of Orlando Arcia & Hernan Perez:

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

Get A Haircut Hippies

cartman — **Eric Cartman: Hello, ma’am. I’m working to clean up the city from parasites. Do you mind if I take a quick look around your baseball stadium? I’m afraid you may have hippies.**

**Elderly Woman: Hippies?**

Eric Cartman: Yeah, they’ve been poppin’ up all over town lately. The boys next door had hundreds of hippies in their soccer stadium; they usually live in colonies. Hm, I don’t like the sound of that. Could I take a look at your ball field?

Sox lose, Sox style, 12-8 to the Sounds — **Eric Cartman: [to these hippies] Here, here’s some joints and a guitar.**

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5 — **Eric Cartman: In my professional opinion, we’re looking at a full-blown hippie jamfest the size of which we’ve never seen.**

Their hippies beat our hippies 12-8. Sox fall to 1-1 on the young season.

Battle of the Wolf-People

Our New Sox, your BrewSox, won their opener 7-5 over the Nashville Sounds yesterday in the torquing east wind swept, frozen confines of Security Service Field at Mile High. 1-0! Yeah team!

Here’s kind of what happened:

AND! And there was a battle of Wolf-People!

It got hairy in the 8th & 9th as the Sounds clawed back 3 runs to make it close, but the New Sox hung on for the win.

Tonight at 635pm it’s John Ely vs Barry Zito (who was great on the Chris Isaak Show, SE3EP3, in 2004. Watch it! Oh, YOU CAN’T BECAUSE SOME BASTARDS WON’T ALLOW IT OUT ON DVD, OR NETFLIX, OR ANYTHING! OH, HOW I HATE THEM BASTARDS!). Sorry. I really liked that show. To make it up to you here’s a picture of a little man on a baseball, or a normal man on a giant baseball. Enjoy!

manonbaseball — **Sitting on it like he own the whole, wide world!**

Cute Fuzzy Bunny, MUST DIE!

During Friday night’s series finale between the Sky Sox and the Nashville Sounds @ColoSportSpaz let me know that a couple of ne’er–do–wells in the Nashville bullpen were tossing stuff at a rabbit on the grassy berm…

05_09_071_pk — **Let’s toss the bunny some gum. Bunnies love gum.**

…and toss stuff at the bunny they did. For at lease an inning they tried to get it to move by tossing gum and, I’m guessing here, sunflower seeds…

05_09_073d_pk — “Well, that’s no ordinary rabbit.
That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.”

…when those didn’t work they brought in the Holy ~~Hand Grenade~~ Baseball…

05_09_075_pk — **“Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.”**

05_09_078_pk — “And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade baseball up on high, saying, ‘Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade baseball that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large –“

…and after a couple of throws, where each time the ball landed about a foot from the bunny, the rabbit decided enough was enough and wandered back to wherever they go when taunted by gum and baseballs.

3b43772r — **Awwww! Bunnies! Let’s chuck stuff at ’em!**

Tag: Nashville Sounds