The Ghost Of The 2020 Season Opener

UCHealth Park, in 2019, on a dark and stormy night

Today was supposed to be opening day for the 2020 Pioneer League season. Our Rocky Mountain Vibes were traveling to Ogden, Utah to take on the Raptors. Well, thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, the 2020 season looks to be one of what might have been, for the Vibes, the Rookie Advanced Pioneer League, and all of Minor League baseball (hell, maybe even MLB).

Betcha Ogden has a bitchin’ giant ball of twine for tourists to gawk at

At least we have 2021 to look forward to..shit.

Dillard Nut-Shot Card

IF YOU WANT IT, IT’S HERE! The Keith Comstock tribute/Tim Dillard autographed nut-shot card is available to the general public for the first time.

Click this link for info on how you can acquire one of these rare baseball collectables and also do something to make the world a wee better place in the process.

Because This Is How You Get Ants

On April 10th, the Sky Sox called up the world’s most dangerous secret agent/relief pitcher, and star of the hit FXX show, ARCHER, Sterling Tristan Archer.

 

Since being called up from Biloxi, Archer has been in 2 games, pitched 3 innings, allowing zip-all with 3 k’s.

According to his Wikipedia page, Tristan’s obsessions include Burt Reynolds, Kenny Loggins, and big cats such as tigers and ocelots. His biggest fears are: cyborgs, alligators, crocodiles, and brain aneurysms.

The more you know!

Oh Hail No!

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Our intrepid bunch of ballplayers battled back against an epic storm Thursday night and defeated Mother Nature (and the Iowa Cubs) 11-7. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, “the Sky Sox shall fight in Colorado, they shall fight on the ball fields and off, they shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength, they shall defend Security Service Field at Mile High, whatever the cost may be. They shall fight in the parking lot, they shall fight in the stands, they shall fight on the warning track, they shall fight in the dugout; they shall never surrender (because they’re too stupid to quit #TSTQ).” Here is Yadiel Rivera, Manny Pina, Brent Suter & Keon Broxton’s tale in pictures (with special guest appearances by Jorge Lopez and Tim Dillard):

But wait! Yadiel Rivera was not finished! Time to bat some hail straight to hell before being called up to the Brewers:

Our Sky Sox did what the Air Force’s E-4B Nightwatch couldn’t…

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…chase this damn storm away and allow everyone to go home at a reasonable hour.

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Want Some Candy?

Want some candy? How about a baseball?

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Thanks creepy dugout ball guy. Now I’m off-put. Betcha you got a real nice kidnapper van in the parking lot.

Run! Pitchers! Run!

Relief pitchers don’t do much except sit around in the bullpen, sneak back into the clubhouse & pitch  Here are a few examples of relievers doing other stuff:

Ariel Pena coaching first base:

Sox sweep Omaha

Look at all the awesome stuff I found!

Occasionally they get to hit. Here’s Jaye Chapman laying down a bunt:

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Chapman reached, moved to 2nd, and then it was time to RUN! PITCHER! RUN!

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SCREAM! SCREAM AT THAT BALL!

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Why is he running so fast?

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Because he just killed that shortstop. He’s running from the law now.

Run like the wind Jaye! Run to freedom!

 

And sometimes they get lucky and are called on to pitch run:

Sox split a pair with Iowa

Orlando Arcia gives Ariel Pena a bit of base-running advice,

“don’t get picked off. Don’t run into any outs. Don’t screw up too bad.”

Sox split a pair with Iowa

Got it boss. The Pena-Jet is ready to roll!

Sox split a pair with Iowa

Time to stretch that lead. S-t-r-e-t-c-h it real good!

Sox split a pair with Iowa

THERE! HE! GOES!

(He didn’t go anywhere. Someone made the 3rd out elsewhere).

Well done gents. Keep running.

 

ORLANDO ARCIA SMASH!

Here’s a little story about Sky Sox shortstop, and Milwaukee Brewers top prospect, Orlando Arcia (yes, he is the real deal) and his bat:

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Bat hits ball. Ball goes up…too high…

 

Sox eat the Bees 5-4

…BAD BAT! YOU GO BOOM!

 

Sox eat the Bees 5-4

BOOM!

 

Sox eat the Bees 5-4

Bat tries to say it’s sorry and jump back into Orlando’s hands.
Orlando is still too mad at bat.

 

Sox eat the Bees 5-4

Orlando leaves bat behind. Bat is sad. Bat is lonely.
Bat was a bad bat. Bat feels shame.

 

Mother’s Day – A Salute To Childbirth

Here are Nate Orf & Doug Bernier, of the Round Rock Express, with their one act play, SALUTE TO CHILDBIRTH! A MOTHER’S DAY CELEBRATION!

Express top Sox 6-5

Express top Sox 6-5

Sadly the play closed after only one performance. Americans are just not ready for such graphic subject matter at their ballyards.

May the 4th Be With You

Hey. How’s it going? Hope things is good. So, anyhoo, today is May 4th and you know what that means? Yeah, it’s that one day that’s more annoying than Pi Day, May the 4th Be With You day.

So, to ‘celebrate’, here are some of the characters from the Star Warses that have haunted Security Service Field at Mile High over the years:

 

Star Wars Night at Security Service Field

Hey! Look! It’s good old Chewbacco! Man he has really let himself go.

Rrraw! Rrraw! Chewo!

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Them Sand-Jawas think they’re people!

They’re trying to play baseball with their whacking sticks!

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Oh no! Bobo Fred grabbed a big, red ball. Betcha he’s up to no good.

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Aren’t you a little fat to be a Stormtroop.

Damn that Princess Lisa was a real bitch when she said this to Luka.

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One of the Care Bears caught a Stormtroop

and is presenting him to Mr. Star Warses, George Lucan

(or Kenny Rogers. I can’t really tell who the guy is suppose to be).

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Uh-oh! That husky Stormtoop and the James Bond Stormtroop have the drop on Sox!

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Look! Bobo Fred is still up to no good!

He is going to punch Sox in the gomers.

Boo! Doesn’t he know that Sox is a boy fox?!

Star Wars Night at Security Service Field

Boooooo! Booooooo! to you Bart Vegas! Boooooo! You awful, awful man! Boooo!

(And shame on you Stormtroop for hanging out with such an awful man.

You two probably smoke cigarettes & inject the marijuana together. Booooo! Druggies!)

Star Wars Night at Security Service Field

Don’t give me that, “What? What?!” garbage.  You are a naughty man Bart Vegas.

And we haven’t forget to include a character from the new Is The Force Awake movie that’s all the rage with the kids today, here’s Jar Jar Rich! Some dude sent by the ghosts of Yoyo and Opie-Juan with a message to all the new Star Warsers that they should be careful of the rough housing and to remember to wear a coat in space, because it can get cold up there:

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Jar Jar Rich! The grooviest cat in all the universe!

He can game cast the Phil Kessel Run is less that 12 parsecs! USA!

Have fun today and May the 4th be with you! (and also with you).

Stare Into My Eyes

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

BASEBALL TONIGHT! It’s Friday Night Fireworks presented by Heuberger Motors as our Sky Sox take on Nashville to close out the first homestand of the season!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

It’s also Guaranteed Nightmare Night (IF Sox closer Damien Magnifco pitches to close out the game)!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

Come for the baseball! Stay for the fireworks! And never sleep again as The Great Magnifico! Stares into you soul and removes the last of your hopes & dreams with his “Look-O Magnifico”!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

First pitch is at 635pm. Magnifico sightings are usually in the 9th. Fireworks to follow. PengoSports gives tonight “2 Eyeballs”!

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Plus! Classic Letterman!

This One’s For…Nick!

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Some guy named Columbo (spelled Coulombe) on the Nashville Sounds pitched against the Sky Sox in the Sounds’ 9-8 win on Thursday night (he faced the last 2 batters in the 7th, retiring both). From what I understand, Columbo did it while wearing his trademark raincoat while smoking a cigar. I don’t know about you but this sets a terrible example for the children that were present at Security Service Field at Mile High on $3 craft beer night and makes a mockery of the fine game of baseball. If it’s not the forever-long games; the foul, soul-sapping weather; or the packs of wild animals that constantly invade the field, we now have to deal with some jamoke that ditches the traditional pajama-esque baseball outfit to dress up as a fictional 1970’s TV detective. The shame.

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Anyhoo, to commemorate 4-20, here’s a picture of Orlando Arcia & Hernan Perez:

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

Home Opener!

The skies are darkening, the temperature is dropping & a Snowmageddon is predicted for the state, so that can mean only one thing…the Sky Sox home opener is here!

Quiz time! Will we have:

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Rain tonight? (probably)

A little sun, a little rain, a little snow and a lot of wind.

Snow tonight? (probably)  A game tonight? (maybe).

Sky Sox vs Iowa Cubs - May 12, 2011

Cold players bitchin’ ’bout the weather? (definitely).

Too cold for baseball

Massive crowds elbowing their way into Security Service Field at Mile High? (probably not).

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Buck it up campers! Put on your snowsuits and root on our Sky Sox tonight! If the winds stay calm there’s going to be fireworks tonight! And that’d be kinda awesome seeing fireworks in the snow.

And now, a picture of Manager Rick Sweet and a couple of AT-ATs attacking them damn rebels on that ice planet Hoth:

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