What’s In Ben Paulsen’s Beard?

Hey kids! Here’s your coloring page of 2014 PCL All Star, and Colorado Spring Sky Sox 1st baseman, Ben Paulsen:

click to embiggen, print and commence to coloring!

Color the page in, Tweet a picture of your entry to @PengoSports with the hashtag of #ColoringBen and the best entry will win this sweet 5″x7″ shot of Ben grimacing in pain after getting plunked in the elbow from PengoSports (contest ends 7/31/2014).

Ow. Ow. Ouch. Ow. Ow…

LeBron Decision 2014

In a shock move, All-World basketball player LeBron James choose to take his talents to the diamond and play the rest of the 2014 season with the Colorado Springs Sky Sox.

The new point-foward for the Sky Sox, LeBron James.

“If it was good enough for MJ, it’s good enough for LBJ (me, LeBron James and not that salty dead president Lydon Baines Johnson),” the publicity shy superstar was overheard saying. “Plus, I hear they’re having Rudy’s in the pressbox tonight and I sure am hungry for some proper bar-b-que, some of that sweet tea and hot damn! That creamed corn they serve. Hell. The main reason I’m going with the Sox is that creamed corn. If they didn’t have that I’d probably just go back and play hoops in Cleveland, or something stupid like that,” continued a beaming LeBron.

Nolan Arenado Is Sad

Rockies Gold Glove 3rd baseman, Nolan Arenado, was crushed to learn he had to return to the big league club Thursday after a successful 5 game rehab stint with the Sky Sox.

Nolan Arenado can’t contain his disappointment after learning
he had to return to the Colorado Rockies.

“Hell. We went 3-2 here. The Rockies have only won 2 of their last 16 games and that team is just a black hole of injuries right now,” stated a stunned Arenado.

“If it were up to me I’d just stay down here for a while and, you know, hide out until things get better up there. Please. Can’t you talk to them. Let them know I’m still hurt and will be back maybe in August, or next year,” the Gold Glover added.

Gold Glove 3rd baseman, Nolan Arenado, watches
a missed ground ball skip into the outfield.



There’s Gonna Be A Gumfight!

On Sunday Colorado Springs Sky Sox manager Glenallen Hill tried to set up some sort of “gum trap” in one of the openings to the dugout:

Sky Sox skipper Glenallen Hill stretches his gum to the limit while setting a “gum trap”.

Perhaps a good idea in theory, but when you stretch anything to its limit something’s got to give:

(who’s lucky to have not lost an eye).

In the end no one was caught in the “gum trap” and “G” survived the break without gum on his face or in his hair. And if you’re curious, he threw the gum away afterwards instead of putting back in his mouth and re-chewing it. Just the way a gentleman should.

The Dude Abiding

Big day at Security Service Field at Mile High yesterday. The Dude from The Big Lebowsky took in the game from some seats behind home plate.

“Look, let me explain something to you. I’m not Mr. Lebowski. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. That, or His Dudeness … Duder … or El Duderino, if, you know, you’re not into the whole brevity thing.”

The Sox lost to the Iowa Cubs 2-0, but The Dude was so amazingly chill it didn’t matter.

Tom Landry In The House

Saw Tom Landry in downtown Colorado Springs yesterday walking to the annual pancake breakfast. Sorry about the UFO/Sasquatch quality of the pics. I had to take this shot with my flip-phone (I don’t carry a camera around when I’m not working):

There’s coach Landry, in his grey suit and fedora,
heading up Tejon St. off to grab him some pancakes.
Granted, he died in February of 2000, but as God is my witness, that was Tom Landry wandering around downtown Colorado Springs today.
The undead coach of America’s Team.

What does any of this mean? How the hell am I suppose to know? What I do know is that Tom Landry is alive, and wandering the streets of downtown Colorado Springs and that he seems to have a taste for pancakes (and that I probably should carry a better camera around).

Even More Unfortunate Bat Placement

Here are a couple of new entries in the Unfortunate Bat Placement series:

Ben Paulsen is so “excited” and he just can’t hide it!
He’s about to lose control and he thinks he likes it!
Catcher Michael Ramirez goes all Don Quixote with his Unfortunate Bat Placement.

Well played gents! Keep it up!

Smokey Bear Perp Walk

THAT’S THE ONE! HE DID IT! Take him away ladies…

Put a shirt on Smokey. You’ve really let yourself go.

…Maybe a little time in the Greybar Hotel will teach you not to show up Ranger Smith by stealing all them pic-a-nic baskets over in Jellystone Park!


Queensland v New South Wales! At Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane. Tonight (Wednesday morning) pregame at 330am MST, kickoff at 415am on Fox Sports 2 (DirecTV 618; Dish 397; Comcast COS 128). State of Origin 2014 if finally here! Wake up early. Stay up late. DVR it. Just make sure to watch it.

Fingers cross that the hairless naked man will lead the teams out this year. If not, it will still be the greatest sporting event of the year. Yup. The greatest.

Give it a chance and watch it. WATCH IT!

TV Good

tv (3)
I’ll be your friend. No one understands you like I do.

Lots-O-Stuff on the TV this Memorial Day weekend. To Hell with your friends, to Hell with your family, to Hell with everything. Watch TV. WATCH IT!

Saturday –
330am –
AFL Aussie Rules – Port Adelaide v Hawthorn on Fox Sports 2.
330am –
NRL Rugby League – Wests Tigers v Queensland Broncos on Fox Soccer Plus.
800am – English Championship Football Final – Derby County v Queens Park Rangers on BeIN Sports.
830am –
IIHF World Championship Semifinal – Russia v Sweden on NBCSN.
1000am – Heineken Cup Rugby Final – Toulon v Saracens on Fox Soccer Plus.
1100am – NCAA lacrosse – Denver University v Duke on ESPN2.
1100am – IIHF World Championship Semifinal – Czech Republic v Finland on NBCSN.
Noon – UEFA Champions League Final – Athletico Madrid v Real Madrid on Fox proper.
130pm – NCAA Lacrosse Semifinal – Maryland v Notre Dame on ESPN2.
210pm – MLB – Rockies v Braves on Root Sports.
600pm – NHL Playoffs – Chicago Blackhawks v Los Angeles Kings on NBC proper.
1100pm – NRL rugby league – Canberra Raiders v North Queensland Cowboys – Fox Sports 2

Sunday –
1230am – AFL Aussie Rules Football – Carlton Blues v Adelaide Crows on Fox Soccer Plus.
530am – Monaco Grand Prix on NBC proper.
Noon – IIHF World Championship Final – TBA v TBA on NBCSN.
200pm – Memorial Cup Final – Guelph Storm v Edmonton Oil Kings on NHL Network.
310pm – MLB – Rockies v Braves on Root Sports.
600pm – NHL Playoffs – Montreal Canadiens v New York Rangers on NBCSN.

Monday –
300am – NRL Rugby League – Cronulla Sharks v South Sydney Rabbitohs on Fox Sports 2.
1100am – NCAA Lacrosse Championship – TBA v TBA on ESPN2.
305pm – MLB – Rockies v Phillies on Root Sports.
700pm – NHL Playoffs – Chicago Blackhawks v Los Angeles Kings on NBCSN.

There’s probably more, but this is good enough. That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

Johnny Hockey

In case you missed it here is the USA’s Johnny Gaudreau filthy, filthy goal he scored against Germany on Tuesday:

Holy Lord! What a goal!

Gaudreau, signed with the Calgary Flames by way of Boston College late this season and scored a goal in his only game with the team. He was just a 4th round pick in the 2011 draft due to his size, 5’8″ and 153 lbs., but has shown the ability to score every where he’s played. Look out for him next year with the Flames. Dude is going to light some lamps.

I Have To Be Over There…NOW!

Here’s Christian Friedrich. He’s pitching tonight for the Sky Sox. That is all.

…You’ll have to keep on your toes.
– I’ll keep on my toes.
You’ll have to jump.
– I’ll jump.

G.I. Jason Pridie

This year the Sky Sox added a player who’s fame and exploits off the field by far outshine any success he has had on it. I’m talking about a man with Life-Like Hair and Kung-Fu Grip. I am talking about a Real American Hero. I am talking about Sky Sox centerfielder, G.I. Joe Jason Pridie!

G.I. Joe Jason Pridie before one of his secret missions.
G.I. Joe Jason Pridie before one of his secret missions.

Yo Joe Jason Pridie!
He’ll fight for freedom where ever there’s trouble.
GI Joe Jason Pridie is there.

It’s GI Joe Jason Pridie against Cobra the enemy
Fighting to save the day.
He never gives up.
He’s always there,
Fighting for freedom over land and air.

GI Joe Jason Pridie- A real American hero
GI Joe Jason Pridie is there.

Here is G.I. Joe Jason Pridie transitioning back into civilian life with the Sky Sox.

G.I. Joe Jason Pridie is famous for his many movies, commericals, Saturday morning cartoons and his appearance on the hit TV show The Simpsons. Here he is in his scene with Stacy Lovell:

G.I. Joe Jason: Stacy, please, I must have you back.
Just come for a ride with me in my Mobile Command Unit.
Stacy: Joe Jason, I told you, it’s over. Release me from your Kung-Fu Grip.
G.I. Joe Jason: Fine. I’ll bomb your house into the ground, missy.

Wow! Heavy stuff man. We wish G.I. Joe Jason Pridie all the best here in the Springs. Good luck soldier!

G.I. Joe Jason Pridie in his new ‘camo’ uniform.

Welcome home G.I. Joe Jason Pridie! Thank you for your service to this great country!
Jason Pridie
G.I. Joe Jason Pridie reporting for duty with your Colorado Springs Sky Sox!

Mr. Sky Sox

In the history of baseball mascots the ones with baseballs for heads are pretty creepy (plus the Red Sox one that didn’t have a baseball for a head but had something else somewhere else that I just had to include in this post because it’s hella creepy, see below):

The Cincinnati Reds had Mr. Redlegs…
…the New York Mets were represented by Mr. Met…
…and the Red Sox had the infamous Massive BonerMan.

Now the Colorado Springs Sky Sox are joining in with their own baseball-headed freak of nature, behold, Mr. Sky Sox!

Here is Mr. Sky Sox, playing right field over Manny Corpus’ left shoulder.
What other mascot plays the game?
A closeup of the elusive Mr. Sky Sox on May 17, 2014.

I have the feeling, as cool as Mr. Sky Sox is, he will never replace Sox the Fox…

Sox! He’s waaay better than Mr. Sky Sox.

…or Socko:

SOCKO! Who looks to be a close relative of Massive BonerMan
with a kind of Frankenstein-thing going on down there.
Way, way off-putting once you see it.