Tag: Barry Zito

Get A Haircut Hippies

cartman
Eric Cartman: Hello, ma’am. I’m working to clean up the city from parasites. Do you mind if I take a quick look around your baseball stadium? I’m afraid you may have hippies.

Elderly Woman: Hippies?

Eric Cartman: Yeah, they’ve been poppin’ up all over town lately. The boys next door had hundreds of hippies in their soccer stadium; they usually live in colonies. Hm, I don’t like the sound of that. Could I take a look at your ball field?

Sox lose, Sox style, 12-8 to the Sounds
Eric Cartman: [to these hippies] Here, here’s some joints and a guitar.
Sox lose, Sox style, 12-8 to the Sounds
Eric Cartman: See that. hippies. These are what we call the ,uh, giggling stoners. Pretty common form of hippies, usually found in stadiums and arenas.
Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Eric Cartman: In my professional opinion, we’re looking at a full-blown hippie jamfest the size of which we’ve never seen.
Sox lose, Sox style, 12-8 to the Sounds
Eric Cartman: Damn hippies!

Their hippies beat our hippies 12-8. Sox fall to 1-1 on the young season.

 

Battle of the Wolf-People

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
It was Opening Day, so America was there!

Our New Sox, your BrewSox, won their opener 7-5 over the Nashville Sounds yesterday in the torquing east wind swept, frozen confines of Security Service Field at Mile High. 1-0! Yeah team!

Here’s kind of what happened:

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Taylor Jungmann pitched 4.0 innings looking like this.
Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Matt Clark hit a high pop up behind 2nd base that went over the fence for a homer. Yes, that’s a homerun swing.

AND! And there was a battle of Wolf-People!

Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
Nashville’s catcher, and Wolf-Person, Bryan Anderson ready to do Wolf-Person stuff at the ballyard.
Sox hold on to defeat Nashville 7-5
One of the Sky Sox Wolf-People, Chris Perez, gives up a double to his Wolf-Brother Bryan Anderson in the 8th.

It got hairy in the 8th & 9th as the Sounds clawed back 3 runs to make it close, but the New Sox hung on for the win.

Tonight at 635pm it’s John Ely vs Barry Zito (who was great on the Chris Isaak Show, SE3EP3, in 2004. Watch it! Oh, YOU CAN’T BECAUSE SOME BASTARDS WON’T ALLOW IT OUT ON DVD, OR NETFLIX, OR ANYTHING! OH, HOW I HATE THEM BASTARDS!). Sorry. I really liked that show. To make it up to you here’s a picture of a little man on a baseball, or a normal man on a giant baseball. Enjoy!

manonbaseball
Sitting on it like he own the whole, wide world!