The Ghost Of The 2020 Season Opener

UCHealth Park, in 2019, on a dark and stormy night

Today was supposed to be opening day for the 2020 Pioneer League season. Our Rocky Mountain Vibes were traveling to Ogden, Utah to take on the Raptors. Well, thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, the 2020 season looks to be one of what might have been, for the Vibes, the Rookie Advanced Pioneer League, and all of Minor League baseball (hell, maybe even MLB).

Betcha Ogden has a bitchin’ giant ball of twine for tourists to gawk at

At least we have 2021 to look forward to..shit.

Dillard Nut-Shot Card

IF YOU WANT IT, IT’S HERE! The Keith Comstock tribute/Tim Dillard autographed nut-shot card is available to the general public for the first time.

Click this link for info on how you can acquire one of these rare baseball collectables and also do something to make the world a wee better place in the process.

The New Scoreboard’s Here! The New Scoreboard’s Here!

Starting with tomorrow’s Sky Sox game against Round Rock at Security Service Field at Mile, it’s out with the old scoreboard (the football stuff was always so confusing):

 

And in with a fancy, new one:

 

Damn! That looks fast!

 

Between innings you are invited to join the dance party as the scoreboard transforms into an all-robot band and cranks out the hottest soft rock hits of the 80’s!

 

It’s also rumored that VIP Ape, sponsored by Banana City, may make an appearance to flip the switch to light up the new scoreboard!

Free ticket vouchers are available at ARC Thrift Stores! Bring the kids! It’s going to one hell of a Monday at the ball yard!

Pain Is In The Air

Dudes have been getting smacked all over Security Service Field at Mile High this season.

Here a missed pickoff attempt connecting with an umpire’s shinbone –

 

Fresno’s Juan Centeno catches one right in the mask –

 

Here’s a ball twacking Sacramento catcher Tim Federowicz –

 

And this guy got whacked so hard I think he died or something –

So, bring the kids! Watch some dudes get smacked by a baseball! It’ll be fun!

SNAKE!

That vile Grow Snake nearly claimed a couple more victims during last night game. Sky Sox outfielder Brett Phillips & Fresno catcher Max Stassi were lucky to escape death when the rain delay Grow Snake surprised both minutes before a massive storm blew over Security Service Field at Mile High.

Just a reminder, when it rains at Security Service Field at Mile High keep an eye out for snakes.

 

That’s Never A Good Sign

Fresno starter, Mike Hauschild, watches the entire Grizzlies’ pitching staff walk to the bullpen during the 1st inning of last night’s game against the Sky Sox.

The reason the staff was going to the bullpen was that Hauschild did this in the inning:

Col. Springs Bottom of the 1st
  • Lewis Brinson singles on a ground ball to second baseman Tony Kemp.
  • Kirk Nieuwenhuis walks. Lewis Brinson to 2nd.
  • With Ryan Cordell batting, wild pitch by Mike Hauschild, Lewis Brinson to 3rd.
  • Ryan Cordell walks. Kirk Nieuwenhuis to 2nd.
  • Garrett Cooper singles on a line drive to left fielder Jon Kemmer. Lewis Brinson scores. Kirk Nieuwenhuis out at home, left fielder Jon Kemmer to third baseman Tyler White. Ryan Cordell to 2nd.
  • With Brett Phillips batting, wild pitch by Mike Hauschild, Ryan Cordell to 3rd.
  • Brett Phillips walks. Garrett Cooper to 2nd.
  • Ivan De Jesus Jr. singles on a line drive to center fielder Andrew Aplin. Ryan Cordell scores. Garrett Cooper scores. Brett Phillips to 3rd.
  • Yadiel Rivera singles on a ground ball to shortstop Jack Mayfield. Brett Phillips scores. Ivan De Jesus Jr. to 2nd.
  • Nate Orf flies out to right fielder Derek Fisher. Ivan De Jesus Jr. to 3rd.
  • Tyler Heineman flies out to center fielder Andrew Aplin.

Hauschild went 3 innings, gave up 9 runs on 8 hits and 6 walks. It’s safe to say he’s probably not a fan of Security Service Field at Mile High.

Sox won the rain delayed affair 19-7.

This Is His Land. And You Know It’s Rich With Gold. GOLD!

Colorado Springs ace, Yukon Cornelius Brandon Woodruff, goes tonight for the Sky Sox against Oklahoma City in OKC. 

Woodruff is 4-0 with a 1.61 ERA on the season, with 3 of those wins coming at Security Service Field at Mile High (a place not fit for man or beast. The ballyard is nothing but the Island of Misfit Toys with Bumbles running wild in the outfield).

Good luck to Brandon, Rudolph & Hermey against the OKC Dodgers tonight!

KEN-NEE G! KEN-NEE G!

Color me shocked, but smooth jazz recording legend, Kenny G, seems to have changed careers and is now a relief pitcher for the Nashville Sounds.

Mr. G, or Kenny, as he allows me to call him, has pitched in the first 2 games of the 4 game series, tossing 2 innings, giving up 1 hit & 1 run.

Tonight has been declared KENNY G NIGHT! All game long, Kenny will entertain the crowd, from the bullpen, with some of his monster jazz hits like, Love Theme From Romeo & Juliet, the theme From Dying Young, and My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme From Titanic)!

So, come on out to Security Service Field at Mile High, watch the Sky Sox take on the Sounds, and chill to the musical magic of Kenny G.

KENNY!

 

 

Because This Is How You Get Ants

On April 10th, the Sky Sox called up the world’s most dangerous secret agent/relief pitcher, and star of the hit FXX show, ARCHER, Sterling Tristan Archer.

 

Since being called up from Biloxi, Archer has been in 2 games, pitched 3 innings, allowing zip-all with 3 k’s.

According to his Wikipedia page, Tristan’s obsessions include Burt Reynolds, Kenny Loggins, and big cats such as tigers and ocelots. His biggest fears are: cyborgs, alligators, crocodiles, and brain aneurysms.

The more you know!

Sox the Fox is Dead

Crazed with rabies, drunk as a lemur, Sox the Fox had to be put down, Old Yeller style, last Sunday.

In lieu of flowers eat a hot dog or something.