KEN-NEE G! KEN-NEE G!

Color me shocked, but smooth jazz recording legend, Kenny G, seems to have changed careers and is now a relief pitcher for the Nashville Sounds.

Mr. G, or Kenny, as he allows me to call him, has pitched in the first 2 games of the 4 game series, tossing 2 innings, giving up 1 hit & 1 run.

Tonight has been declared KENNY G NIGHT! All game long, Kenny will entertain the crowd, from the bullpen, with some of his monster jazz hits like, Love Theme From Romeo & Juliet, the theme From Dying Young, and My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme From Titanic)!

So, come on out to Security Service Field at Mile High, watch the Sky Sox take on the Sounds, and chill to the musical magic of Kenny G.

KENNY!

 

 

The Gazette Officially Mailed This One In

Here’s Saturday’s online game story from our own Colorado Springs Gazette::

Concise, to the point, without any wasted words (though there is a lot of wasted space below that final paragraph). That’s mailing it in without even having to waste a stamp! Nicely done!

Jorge Bonifacio’s Going To Mess Up Your Promo

The Omaha Royals Storm Chasers Kansas City Royals outfielder, Jorge Bonifacio, is a pip I tell you! A pip!

Here’s some kid, running with a giant, red ball, as part of some promo at a Colorado Springs Sky Sox game, getting his fair share of “the business” from Bonifacio.

A good time was had by both. The kid won a year’s supply of giant, red balls, and Bonifacio made it safely to his position in right field.

Congrats to Jorge Bonifacio, who was called up to the Kansas City Royals today. Good luck and keep on keepin’ on!

Because This Is How You Get Ants

On April 10th, the Sky Sox called up the world’s most dangerous secret agent/relief pitcher, and star of the hit FXX show, ARCHER, Sterling Tristan Archer.

 

Since being called up from Biloxi, Archer has been in 2 games, pitched 3 innings, allowing zip-all with 3 k’s.

According to his Wikipedia page, Tristan’s obsessions include Burt Reynolds, Kenny Loggins, and big cats such as tigers and ocelots. His biggest fears are: cyborgs, alligators, crocodiles, and brain aneurysms.

The more you know!

The Pig-Man! I Saw A Pig-Man!

“I’m tellin ya the pigman is alive. The government’s been experimenting with pigmen since the fifties.”

 

“Pigman, baby. Pigman.”

 

“Let me understand this. So if you find the pigman, your intention is to …emancipate him?”

 

He may be a pigman, but pigman is respectful of our nation’s anthem.

 

“Pig man! It’s a pig man! Pig man! He looked up at me and made this horrible sound, eeeeaaaahhh, eeeeaaaahhh.”

 

The pigman is off to take a dump. Godspeed pigman!

“Believe me…somewhere in this arena the anguished oink of pigman cries for help.”

Oh, Air Force came back in this game, down 3-0, scoring 3 times in the last 4 minutes to earn a tie against AIC.

 

Shout out for the quoted material goes to Seinfeld season 5,  episode 5, “The Bris”

Mother’s Day – A Salute To Childbirth

Here are Nate Orf & Doug Bernier, of the Round Rock Express, with their one act play, SALUTE TO CHILDBIRTH! A MOTHER’S DAY CELEBRATION!

Express top Sox 6-5

Express top Sox 6-5

Sadly the play closed after only one performance. Americans are just not ready for such graphic subject matter at their ballyards.