Mother’s Day – A Salute To Childbirth

Here are Nate Orf & Doug Bernier, of the Round Rock Express, with their one act play, SALUTE TO CHILDBIRTH! A MOTHER’S DAY CELEBRATION!

Express top Sox 6-5

Express top Sox 6-5

Sadly the play closed after only one performance. Americans are just not ready for such graphic subject matter at their ballyards.

May the 4th Be With You

Hey. How’s it going? Hope things is good. So, anyhoo, today is May 4th and you know what that means? Yeah, it’s that one day that’s more annoying than Pi Day, May the 4th Be With You day.

So, to ‘celebrate’, here are some of the characters from the Star Warses that have haunted Security Service Field at Mile High over the years:

 

Star Wars Night at Security Service Field

Hey! Look! It’s good old Chewbacco! Man he has really let himself go.

Rrraw! Rrraw! Chewo!

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Them Sand-Jawas think they’re people!

They’re trying to play baseball with their whacking sticks!

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Oh no! Bobo Fred grabbed a big, red ball. Betcha he’s up to no good.

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Aren’t you a little fat to be a Stormtroop.

Damn that Princess Lisa was a real bitch when she said this to Luka.

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One of the Care Bears caught a Stormtroop

and is presenting him to Mr. Star Warses, George Lucan

(or Kenny Rogers. I can’t really tell who the guy is suppose to be).

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Uh-oh! That husky Stormtoop and the James Bond Stormtroop have the drop on Sox!

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Look! Bobo Fred is still up to no good!

He is going to punch Sox in the gomers.

Boo! Doesn’t he know that Sox is a boy fox?!

Star Wars Night at Security Service Field

Boooooo! Booooooo! to you Bart Vegas! Boooooo! You awful, awful man! Boooo!

(And shame on you Stormtroop for hanging out with such an awful man.

You two probably smoke cigarettes & inject the marijuana together. Booooo! Druggies!)

Star Wars Night at Security Service Field

Don’t give me that, “What? What?!” garbage.  You are a naughty man Bart Vegas.

And we haven’t forget to include a character from the new Is The Force Awake movie that’s all the rage with the kids today, here’s Jar Jar Rich! Some dude sent by the ghosts of Yoyo and Opie-Juan with a message to all the new Star Warsers that they should be careful of the rough housing and to remember to wear a coat in space, because it can get cold up there:

jarjarrich

Jar Jar Rich! The grooviest cat in all the universe!

He can game cast the Phil Kessel Run is less that 12 parsecs! USA!

Have fun today and May the 4th be with you! (and also with you).

Nothing’s Faster Than A Hotdog Man

Hey. Look. It’s a hotdog man…

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

… And he’s running…by Keon Broxton…

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

…and running, in front of the Sky Sox bullpen, now with a big, red ball. Good for the hotdog man. Seems to enjoy all the space. Nice to see him so happy running, and running, and running. Godspeed hotdog man. Godspeed.

Stare Into My Eyes

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

BASEBALL TONIGHT! It’s Friday Night Fireworks presented by Heuberger Motors as our Sky Sox take on Nashville to close out the first homestand of the season!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

It’s also Guaranteed Nightmare Night (IF Sox closer Damien Magnifco pitches to close out the game)!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

Come for the baseball! Stay for the fireworks! And never sleep again as The Great Magnifico! Stares into you soul and removes the last of your hopes & dreams with his “Look-O Magnifico”!

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

First pitch is at 635pm. Magnifico sightings are usually in the 9th. Fireworks to follow. PengoSports gives tonight “2 Eyeballs”!

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Plus! Classic Letterman!

This One’s For…Nick!

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Some guy named Columbo (spelled Coulombe) on the Nashville Sounds pitched against the Sky Sox in the Sounds’ 9-8 win on Thursday night (he faced the last 2 batters in the 7th, retiring both). From what I understand, Columbo did it while wearing his trademark raincoat while smoking a cigar. I don’t know about you but this sets a terrible example for the children that were present at Security Service Field at Mile High on $3 craft beer night and makes a mockery of the fine game of baseball. If it’s not the forever-long games; the foul, soul-sapping weather; or the packs of wild animals that constantly invade the field, we now have to deal with some jamoke that ditches the traditional pajama-esque baseball outfit to dress up as a fictional 1970’s TV detective. The shame.

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Anyhoo, to commemorate 4-20, here’s a picture of Orlando Arcia & Hernan Perez:

Sox conquer the cold, and the Redbirds, with a 3-1 victory

Home Opener!

The skies are darkening, the temperature is dropping & a Snowmageddon is predicted for the state, so that can mean only one thing…the Sky Sox home opener is here!

Quiz time! Will we have:

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Rain tonight? (probably)

A little sun, a little rain, a little snow and a lot of wind.

Snow tonight? (probably)  A game tonight? (maybe).

Sky Sox vs Iowa Cubs - May 12, 2011

Cold players bitchin’ ’bout the weather? (definitely).

Too cold for baseball

Massive crowds elbowing their way into Security Service Field at Mile High? (probably not).

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Buck it up campers! Put on your snowsuits and root on our Sky Sox tonight! If the winds stay calm there’s going to be fireworks tonight! And that’d be kinda awesome seeing fireworks in the snow.

And now, a picture of Manager Rick Sweet and a couple of AT-ATs attacking them damn rebels on that ice planet Hoth:

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This Is Ed

This is Ed. Ed works for the Sky Sox.

09_05_001edsm_pkEd kinda looks stoned. Ed’s not stoned. Ed’s just Ed.

If you see Ed, say “HEY ED!” He’ll probably say “hey” back to you. Ed is like that.

Home Run Derp

Matt Dominguez hit a home run in the 1st inning of tonight’s game against Omaha (Sox are getting crushed 8-1 after 7) and came back to the dugout with this look plastered on his face:

09_03_015sm_pkMatt Dominguez and Matt Long share a “moment”.

09_03_015csm_pkDerp it up Matty! Derp it up good!

Shin Bone Connected To The Foul Ball

Matt Clark fouled one off his shin bone tonight:

Sox fall to Omaha 4-3Yup. Fouled it off his shin alright.

Sox fall to Omaha 4-3Looks kinda painful and stuff.

Sox fall to Omaha 4-3That’s the ticket. All Better now.

Sox fell to Omaha 4-3 on Dog Night, and many dogs were sad.

Sox fall to Omaha 4-3A man in a giant rat suit taunts a bunch of dogs on Dog Night.

 And now I leave you with this:

The Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Hell, I don’t know. Did that damn singing frog mention gold and leprechauns? That would be a decent reason for a song about rainbows. Let’s just say he was singing about last night’s 7-1 Sky Sox victory over the Reno Aces, or more accurately, about the 1:31 rain delay in the top of the 4th inning that was just chock full of rainbows, and lightning, and talk of pots-o-gold & leprechauns, and stuff.

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Hey! Look! It’s the end of the rainbow!
And it’s landing right in the middle of Security Service Field at Mile High!
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The end of the rainbow means a pots-o-gold & leprechauns!
I think I see a leprechaun, but that doesn’t look like a pot-o-gold.
That looks like a big metal tube.
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Stupid metal tubes. They can’t hold a candle to an inanimate carbon rod.
And that’s no leprechaun! It’s Sox outfielder Michael Reed!
He only looks like a leprechaun because he has a red beard.

Michael Reed says, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya! And stay away from me Lucky Charms!”

 

Hit Batsman of the Homestand

Congratulations to Matt Clark! By getting plunked by the Iowa Cubs’ Felipe Paulino in the bottom of the 4th inning of Monday’s 12-10 loss, you are the winner of the Hit Batsman of the Homestand!

Cubs top Sox, again.
Matt Clark attempts to shake off getting hit in the foot while Cubs’ catcher Luke Carlin tries to lighten the mood with his world famous “Look at Me! I’m walkin’ like a Sasquatch!” impression.