Pain Is In The Air

Dudes have been getting smacked all over Security Service Field at Mile High this season.

Here a missed pickoff attempt connecting with an umpire’s shinbone –

 

Fresno’s Juan Centeno catches one right in the mask –

 

Here’s a ball twacking Sacramento catcher Tim Federowicz –

 

And this guy got whacked so hard I think he died or something –

So, bring the kids! Watch some dudes get smacked by a baseball! It’ll be fun!

SNAKE!

That vile Grow Snake nearly claimed a couple more victims during last night game. Sky Sox outfielder Brett Phillips & Fresno catcher Max Stassi were lucky to escape death when the rain delay Grow Snake surprised both minutes before a massive storm blew over Security Service Field at Mile High.

Just a reminder, when it rains at Security Service Field at Mile High keep an eye out for snakes.

 

That’s Never A Good Sign

Fresno starter, Mike Hauschild, watches the entire Grizzlies’ pitching staff walk to the bullpen during the 1st inning of last night’s game against the Sky Sox.

The reason the staff was going to the bullpen was that Hauschild did this in the inning:

Col. Springs Bottom of the 1st
  • Lewis Brinson singles on a ground ball to second baseman Tony Kemp.
  • Kirk Nieuwenhuis walks. Lewis Brinson to 2nd.
  • With Ryan Cordell batting, wild pitch by Mike Hauschild, Lewis Brinson to 3rd.
  • Ryan Cordell walks. Kirk Nieuwenhuis to 2nd.
  • Garrett Cooper singles on a line drive to left fielder Jon Kemmer. Lewis Brinson scores. Kirk Nieuwenhuis out at home, left fielder Jon Kemmer to third baseman Tyler White. Ryan Cordell to 2nd.
  • With Brett Phillips batting, wild pitch by Mike Hauschild, Ryan Cordell to 3rd.
  • Brett Phillips walks. Garrett Cooper to 2nd.
  • Ivan De Jesus Jr. singles on a line drive to center fielder Andrew Aplin. Ryan Cordell scores. Garrett Cooper scores. Brett Phillips to 3rd.
  • Yadiel Rivera singles on a ground ball to shortstop Jack Mayfield. Brett Phillips scores. Ivan De Jesus Jr. to 2nd.
  • Nate Orf flies out to right fielder Derek Fisher. Ivan De Jesus Jr. to 3rd.
  • Tyler Heineman flies out to center fielder Andrew Aplin.

Hauschild went 3 innings, gave up 9 runs on 8 hits and 6 walks. It’s safe to say he’s probably not a fan of Security Service Field at Mile High.

Sox won the rain delayed affair 19-7.

Watching Baseball And Stuff

Tonight’s Sky Sox starter, Paolo Espino, watches stuff go down at Security Service Field at Mile High.

You too, can watch stuff go down at Security Service Field at Mile High by heading out to any of the 8 games over the next 9 days (no baseball on Wednesday).

And now, a picture of a sausage man, spokes-jack.

The Lizard People Are Among Us

All hail our Reptilian overlords!

 

One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them. The reptiles will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome the Annunaki to our humble stadium. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted sports photographer, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground lizard caves.

This Is His Land. And You Know It’s Rich With Gold. GOLD!

Colorado Springs ace, Yukon Cornelius Brandon Woodruff, goes tonight for the Sky Sox against Oklahoma City in OKC. 

Woodruff is 4-0 with a 1.61 ERA on the season, with 3 of those wins coming at Security Service Field at Mile High (a place not fit for man or beast. The ballyard is nothing but the Island of Misfit Toys with Bumbles running wild in the outfield).

Good luck to Brandon, Rudolph & Hermey against the OKC Dodgers tonight!

KEN-NEE G! KEN-NEE G!

Color me shocked, but smooth jazz recording legend, Kenny G, seems to have changed careers and is now a relief pitcher for the Nashville Sounds.

Mr. G, or Kenny, as he allows me to call him, has pitched in the first 2 games of the 4 game series, tossing 2 innings, giving up 1 hit & 1 run.

Tonight has been declared KENNY G NIGHT! All game long, Kenny will entertain the crowd, from the bullpen, with some of his monster jazz hits like, Love Theme From Romeo & Juliet, the theme From Dying Young, and My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme From Titanic)!

So, come on out to Security Service Field at Mile High, watch the Sky Sox take on the Sounds, and chill to the musical magic of Kenny G.

KENNY!

 

 

The Gazette Officially Mailed This One In

Here’s Saturday’s online game story from our own Colorado Springs Gazette::

Concise, to the point, without any wasted words (though there is a lot of wasted space below that final paragraph). That’s mailing it in without even having to waste a stamp! Nicely done!

Jorge Bonifacio’s Going To Mess Up Your Promo

The Omaha Royals Storm Chasers Kansas City Royals outfielder, Jorge Bonifacio, is a pip I tell you! A pip!

Here’s some kid, running with a giant, red ball, as part of some promo at a Colorado Springs Sky Sox game, getting his fair share of “the business” from Bonifacio.

A good time was had by both. The kid won a year’s supply of giant, red balls, and Bonifacio made it safely to his position in right field.

Congrats to Jorge Bonifacio, who was called up to the Kansas City Royals today. Good luck and keep on keepin’ on!

Stop That! Just Stop That Right Now!

Would you look at Memphis 3rd baseman Patrick Wisdom? Would you just look at him! He’s freaking out the Brewers’ #1 prospect, Lewis Brinson, and Sky Sox 3rd base coach, Ned Yost, with all that touchy/grabby stuff he’s pulling over there.

 

Seeing the error of his ways, Wisdom attempts to “wash” his “sinning” hand clean with some dirt.

 

OH MY GAWD! HE’S AT IT AGAIN!

Betcha he’ll be wearing a pair of glasses during today’s game. Won’t someone please think of the children.

Because This Is How You Get Ants

On April 10th, the Sky Sox called up the world’s most dangerous secret agent/relief pitcher, and star of the hit FXX show, ARCHER, Sterling Tristan Archer.

 

Since being called up from Biloxi, Archer has been in 2 games, pitched 3 innings, allowing zip-all with 3 k’s.

According to his Wikipedia page, Tristan’s obsessions include Burt Reynolds, Kenny Loggins, and big cats such as tigers and ocelots. His biggest fears are: cyborgs, alligators, crocodiles, and brain aneurysms.

The more you know!

Sox the Fox is Dead

Crazed with rabies, drunk as a lemur, Sox the Fox had to be put down, Old Yeller style, last Sunday.

In lieu of flowers eat a hot dog or something.