KEN-NEE G! KEN-NEE G!

Color me shocked, but smooth jazz recording legend, Kenny G, seems to have changed careers and is now a relief pitcher for the Nashville Sounds.

Mr. G, or Kenny, as he allows me to call him, has pitched in the first 2 games of the 4 game series, tossing 2 innings, giving up 1 hit & 1 run.

Tonight has been declared KENNY G NIGHT! All game long, Kenny will entertain the crowd, from the bullpen, with some of his monster jazz hits like, Love Theme From Romeo & Juliet, the theme From Dying Young, and My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme From Titanic)!

So, come on out to Security Service Field at Mile High, watch the Sky Sox take on the Sounds, and chill to the musical magic of Kenny G.

KENNY!

 

 

The Gazette Officially Mailed This One In

Here’s Saturday’s online game story from our own Colorado Springs Gazette::

Concise, to the point, without any wasted words (though there is a lot of wasted space below that final paragraph). That’s mailing it in without even having to waste a stamp! Nicely done!

Jorge Bonifacio’s Going To Mess Up Your Promo

The Omaha Royals Storm Chasers Kansas City Royals outfielder, Jorge Bonifacio, is a pip I tell you! A pip!

Here’s some kid, running with a giant, red ball, as part of some promo at a Colorado Springs Sky Sox game, getting his fair share of “the business” from Bonifacio.

A good time was had by both. The kid won a year’s supply of giant, red balls, and Bonifacio made it safely to his position in right field.

Congrats to Jorge Bonifacio, who was called up to the Kansas City Royals today. Good luck and keep on keepin’ on!

Stop That! Just Stop That Right Now!

Would you look at Memphis 3rd baseman Patrick Wisdom? Would you just look at him! He’s freaking out the Brewers’ #1 prospect, Lewis Brinson, and Sky Sox 3rd base coach, Ned Yost, with all that touchy/grabby stuff he’s pulling over there.

 

Seeing the error of his ways, Wisdom attempts to “wash” his “sinning” hand clean with some dirt.

 

OH MY GAWD! HE’S AT IT AGAIN!

Betcha he’ll be wearing a pair of glasses during today’s game. Won’t someone please think of the children.

Because This Is How You Get Ants

On April 10th, the Sky Sox called up the world’s most dangerous secret agent/relief pitcher, and star of the hit FXX show, ARCHER, Sterling Tristan Archer.

 

Since being called up from Biloxi, Archer has been in 2 games, pitched 3 innings, allowing zip-all with 3 k’s.

According to his Wikipedia page, Tristan’s obsessions include Burt Reynolds, Kenny Loggins, and big cats such as tigers and ocelots. His biggest fears are: cyborgs, alligators, crocodiles, and brain aneurysms.

The more you know!

Sox the Fox is Dead

Crazed with rabies, drunk as a lemur, Sox the Fox had to be put down, Old Yeller style, last Sunday.

In lieu of flowers eat a hot dog or something.

FC 3-6

Yadiel Rivera gets the force on Omaha’s Billy Burns and attempts to turn the double play. Sky Sox pitch Paolo Espino gets in the way and messes the whole thing up.

The Sox came back, twice, with 3 in the 9th & 10th, to win 8-7 over the Storm Chasers.

Hey, It’s The Bird! And He’s Doing Stuff.

Air Force mascot, The Bird, guilted me into taking his picture on Friday.

Here he is doing this leaning against the board thing…

 

Here he is pretending to watch the game, or cry, or something…

 

And here he is doing something else, airing out his pit I guess.

I did what you asked Bird. Now would you please release my children, unharmed, liked you promised. Thank you.

The Pig-Man! I Saw A Pig-Man!

“I’m tellin ya the pigman is alive. The government’s been experimenting with pigmen since the fifties.”

 

“Pigman, baby. Pigman.”

 

“Let me understand this. So if you find the pigman, your intention is to …emancipate him?”

 

He may be a pigman, but pigman is respectful of our nation’s anthem.

 

“Pig man! It’s a pig man! Pig man! He looked up at me and made this horrible sound, eeeeaaaahhh, eeeeaaaahhh.”

 

The pigman is off to take a dump. Godspeed pigman!

“Believe me…somewhere in this arena the anguished oink of pigman cries for help.”

Oh, Air Force came back in this game, down 3-0, scoring 3 times in the last 4 minutes to earn a tie against AIC.

 

Shout out for the quoted material goes to Seinfeld season 5,  episode 5, “The Bris”

My Goal Has Made All You Much Sad

I got tired of looking at that dead frog in the last post (I am bad updating content. Sorry), so here’s a picture of Air Force’s Jordan Himley celebrating the game winning goal against Army West Point on Friday, January 27th.

The glum folks behind Jordan are Army fans in the away fans section at the Cadet Ice Arena. Air Force defeated Army 3-1 on Friday & 3-2 on Saturday to sweep the series.

Dead Frog

Dead frog! Just a picture of a dead frog I found by Prospect Lake while shooting the balloon fest –

ldlo_demo_001_pk

And here’s a flaccid balloon from said fest –

Labor Day Lift Off media day

Enjoy.

Sweatpants Santa

Look Kids! It’s Santa Claus!

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

Oh! That jolly old elf was hanging out at the Sky Sox spreading some Christmas cheer in September!

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

Wait a minute! What the hell is Santa wearing?! Are those AND1 brand sweatpants?

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

Yup. Dumpy-assed AND1 sweatpants. Dammit Santa! You ain’t even trying anymore!

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

And that’s not even a Santa coat. That’s just a sweat shirt. My world is crumbling down around me.

Sox close out 2016 home slate with 4-0 win over New Orleans

Buddy the Elf was right, you truly do sit on a throne of lies Santa.