Lots-O-Stuff on the TV this Memorial Day weekend. To Hell with your friends, to Hell with your family, to Hell with everything. Watch TV. WATCH IT!

Saturday –
330am – AFL Aussie Rules – Port Adelaide v Hawthorn on Fox Sports 2.
330am – NRL Rugby League – Wests Tigers v Queensland Broncos on Fox Soccer Plus.
800am – English Championship Football Final – Derby County v Queens Park Rangers on BeIN Sports.
830am – IIHF World Championship Semifinal – Russia v Sweden on NBCSN.
1000am – Heineken Cup Rugby Final – Toulon v Saracens on Fox Soccer Plus.
1100am – NCAA lacrosse – Denver University v Duke on ESPN2.
1100am – IIHF World Championship Semifinal – Czech Republic v Finland on NBCSN.
Noon – UEFA Champions League Final – Athletico Madrid v Real Madrid on Fox proper.
130pm – NCAA Lacrosse Semifinal – Maryland v Notre Dame on ESPN2.
210pm – MLB – Rockies v Braves on Root Sports.
600pm – NHL Playoffs – Chicago Blackhawks v Los Angeles Kings on NBC proper.
1100pm – NRL rugby league – Canberra Raiders v North Queensland Cowboys – Fox Sports 2

Sunday –
1230am – AFL Aussie Rules Football – Carlton Blues v Adelaide Crows on Fox Soccer Plus.
530am – Monaco Grand Prix on NBC proper.
Noon – IIHF World Championship Final – TBA v TBA on NBCSN.
200pm – Memorial Cup Final – Guelph Storm v Edmonton Oil Kings on NHL Network.
310pm – MLB – Rockies v Braves on Root Sports.
600pm – NHL Playoffs – Montreal Canadiens v New York Rangers on NBCSN.

Monday –
300am – NRL Rugby League – Cronulla Sharks v South Sydney Rabbitohs on Fox Sports 2.
1100am – NCAA Lacrosse Championship – TBA v TBA on ESPN2.
305pm – MLB – Rockies v Phillies on Root Sports.
700pm – NHL Playoffs – Chicago Blackhawks v Los Angeles Kings on NBCSN.

There’s probably more, but this is good enough. That’ll do pig, that’ll do.