The Ghost Of The 2020 Season Opener

UCHealth Park, in 2019, on a dark and stormy night

Today was supposed to be opening day for the 2020 Pioneer League season. Our Rocky Mountain Vibes were traveling to Ogden, Utah to take on the Raptors. Well, thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, the 2020 season looks to be one of what might have been, for the Vibes, the Rookie Advanced Pioneer League, and all of Minor League baseball (hell, maybe even MLB).

Betcha Ogden has a bitchin’ giant ball of twine for tourists to gawk at

At least we have 2021 to look forward to..shit.

Toasty, I Am Your Father

Mr. Stay Puft – No. I am your father.

Shocked, Toasty looks at Mr. Stay Puft in utter disbelief.

Toasty – No. No. That’s not true! That’s impossible!

Mr. Stay Puft – Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

Toasty – No! No! No!

VADER - Luke.  You can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this.  It is your destiny.  Join me, and together 
 we can rule the galaxy as father 
 and son.  Come with me.  It is the 
 only way.

Mr. Stay Puft – Toasty. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule this ballpark as father and son. Come with me. It is the only way.

Toasty – Okay.

He’s The Motherflippin’

Billy Christopoulos, starting goalie for the Air Force Falcons Billy Christopoulos, 2019 first-team all-Atlantic Hockey goalie Billy Christopoulos, Billy the Greek, plays his last home series this weekend at the Cadet Ice Arena against the Niagara Purple Eagles in the AHC quarterfinals.

We want to congratulate Billy for his great career at Air Force and thank him for planting the earworm that is the Flight of the Conchords’ Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros every time his name is announced. He may be Billy the Greek to Falcon fans, but he’ll always be the HiphopChristoulos to PengoSports. Thanks, Billy.

They call him the Hip-Hop-Christopoulos
Flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin’ off the top of this esophagus
Rockin’ this metropolis
He’s not a large water-dwelling mammal
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?
Mmmph, Steve

He’s the motherflippin
He’s the motherflippin
He’s the motherflippin
Who’s the motherflippin
He’s the motherflippin
He’s the motherflippin
He’s the motherflippin
Motherflippin’ Hip-Hop-Christopoulos

Bret McKenzie & Jermaine Clement



Dillard Nut-Shot Card

IF YOU WANT IT, IT’S HERE! The Keith Comstock tribute/Tim Dillard autographed nut-shot card is available to the general public for the first time.

Click this link for info on how you can acquire one of these rare baseball collectables and also do something to make the world a wee better place in the process.

Sometimes That Grow Gator He Go Away… But Sometimes He Wouldn’t Go Away.

Sometimes that shark grow gator looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark grow gator is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.

When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.

The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks grow gators come in and… they rip you to pieces.

So, anyhow, that was pretty much what it was like during last night’s rain delay at Security Service Field at Mile High.

The New Scoreboard’s Here! The New Scoreboard’s Here!

Starting with tomorrow’s Sky Sox game against Round Rock at Security Service Field at Mile, it’s out with the old scoreboard (the football stuff was always so confusing):

 

And in with a fancy, new one:

 

Damn! That looks fast!

 

Between innings you are invited to join the dance party as the scoreboard transforms into an all-robot band and cranks out the hottest soft rock hits of the 80’s!

 

It’s also rumored that VIP Ape, sponsored by Banana City, may make an appearance to flip the switch to light up the new scoreboard!

Free ticket vouchers are available at ARC Thrift Stores! Bring the kids! It’s going to one hell of a Monday at the ball yard!

It’s Not Bigfoot

Can you guess who this warmly dressed, yet still very cold Sky Sox player is?

Out of the correct guesses, one guesser will be randomly selected to win a PengoSports’ Tim Dillard nut-shot baseball card.

 

Pain Is In The Air

Dudes have been getting smacked all over Security Service Field at Mile High this season.

Here a missed pickoff attempt connecting with an umpire’s shinbone –

 

Fresno’s Juan Centeno catches one right in the mask –

 

Here’s a ball twacking Sacramento catcher Tim Federowicz –

 

And this guy got whacked so hard I think he died or something –

So, bring the kids! Watch some dudes get smacked by a baseball! It’ll be fun!

SNAKE!

That vile Grow Snake nearly claimed a couple more victims during last night game. Sky Sox outfielder Brett Phillips & Fresno catcher Max Stassi were lucky to escape death when the rain delay Grow Snake surprised both minutes before a massive storm blew over Security Service Field at Mile High.

Just a reminder, when it rains at Security Service Field at Mile High keep an eye out for snakes.